Finding My Faith

November 23, 2012

“Stepping onto a brand new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole…”  — Maya Angelou

My father was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer over a year ago.  When I learned of his diagnosis though, it sent my world spinning. I felt lost and as if I was being punished. I wanted somehow to control the situation and my perception of this was to ‘fight’. I had a lot of anger in me and a lot of anger with the Universe for ‘doing this to me.’ I love my dad and I’m very close with him. Now, there are a lot of positives in this story. At the time, however, I was so blinded with my own fears that I refused to see any positives. I played the ‘victim role’ very well. “Cancer was something that happened to other families, not mine.”  Yet, here I was, watching a loved one go through radiation and chemotherapy and much pain. It was hard and when he has ‘bad’ days, it’s still challenging to hear about it and observe.

Posing with my dad

There are a lot of blessings in this story, but the one that has been most profound for me was my ability to find my ‘true self’ in all of this. I found that a deep faith resides within me and an inner strength that has provided me much comfort. It took me a while to have the ability to say, ” I accept this new change in my life.”  In addition, I realize that we all have a journey that is unique. This is my dad’s journey. I am here to support and love him along the way, but I know his path is his.

Photo taken at Elephant Butte, NM by my brother

We all have a limited time here on this earth. When his journey in this life comes to a close, I know he will still be with me. He will always be with me and I with him. My faith tells me this. Where I once was fearful, I now find comfort and peace. I believe miracles surround me and I know Divinity smiles upon me. I know we are never alone and I know we are all connected. I know we are all unique and I know above all that love is the most powerful thing in this world.

I am spending time with my family in New Mexico over the Thanksgiving Holiday and I have much gratitude for the people in my life. I have much gratitude for the life I’ve been blessed with and I am eternally grateful for having such a wonderful father.

Sincerely,

Lena Jácome

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